Shy
by philinchio
Summary: Sick and tired of hiding behind a constant cloud of shyness and fear, Mordecai returns to the stage where everything had gone so wrong, with something to prove. Songfic oneshot. Takes place at the end of "Mordecai and the Rigbys."


**AN: So, this is my first ever piece of fan fiction, and I must say I couldn't have picked a better series to write one for. Never before have I had a connection of this caliber to something I really enjoy, to the point where I actually want to participate in and contribute to its growing fandom. **

**This short story is an addendum to "Mordecai and the Rigbys," an episode that, while very good and a lot of fun to watch, I feel was rather unfair to our favorite blue jay. After watching that ep and listening to a certain and amazingly appropriate Sonata Arctica song, I was inspired to write this fic. **

**Disclaimer: I own neither Regular Show nor the SA song featured within; they are the creations of the fantastic JG Quintel and Tony Kakko, respectively. I do, however, own the OC, Dana. **

**Now then, enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Shy<strong>

By P. E. Rosenbaum

An explosion of brilliant white and amber light filled the room, shockwaves radiating outwards towards the farthest corners. In seconds, the virulent display fizzled out and the house lights returned to their normal brightness.

The audience sat there in stunned silence, transfixed by the events that had occurred only moments prior. Then a slow clapping began, initiated by the sentient gumball machine known as Benson, which grew quickly and exponentially into unanimous applause.

Up on stage, a tall blue jay and a short, chocolate-colored raccoon stood motionless, shocked by their unexpectedly warm reception and exchanging surprised glances with one another.

"I don't know why you thought this open mic would be embarrassing, this is awesome!" the raccoon exclaimed, wide-eyed.

The two disembarked the stage, stopping just outside the curtained entrance to the prep room, where only ten minutes ago they were fretting in anguish over the impending performance.

As the crowd began to stand up, many people chatting quite loudly in small groups, discussing their thoughts on the entirety of the event, a cheerful voice could be heard over the din of patrons. A female robin was weaving her way in and out of the myriad of attendees, waving her crimson wings to get the duo's attention.

"Mordecai! Mordecai!" she called out, addressing the tall bird through the thick crowd.

"Margaret! Margaret!" the jay returned enthusiastically, also fighting his way towards her. After several seconds, Mordecai finally broke through the shuffling pack of spectators and approached Margaret. A huge smile adorned her beak.

The raccoon said nothing, choosing instead to watch their dialogue exchange with inquisitive eyes.

"That was pretty cool what you said up there," she told him. "Thanks, Margaret," he replied, beaming.

"Oh hey, have you met my new boyfriend, Angel?"

Mordecai tensed up dramatically at her question, and his heart suddenly became quite heavy. However, he remained stoic.

A human male turned around as she said this, and Margaret placed her wings on his shoulders. He had shoulder-length blonde hair that partially obscured his vision, and he wore an unbuttoned, light blue flannel shirt.

"C'mon, baby," Angel crooned, putting an arm around the robin. "We don't wanna be late for our _'dinner reservaaaaations.'_" He sang those last two words coolly.

They turned towards the exit.

"Oh yeah, see you guys," Margaret added, waving goodbye. She wrapped her left wing around the blonde man. "Oh Angel, you have such an amazing voice" she told him as the two walked out of the room.

All Mordecai could do was stare silently as they both left. He remained rooted to the spot next to his furry companion, intense feelings of anguish and heartache overwhelmed him.

Rigby looked up at the blue jay.

"Maybe you should've just kept lip-synching," the small mammal spoke up. Mordecai said absolutely nothing in reply, choosing instead to gaze dejectedly down at the oaken floor.

Despite the miraculous turnaround in their performance, Mordecai felt deeply ashamed of all the stupid, stupid decisions he had made which lead to this moment. He was ashamed for lying to Margaret about being in a band, for convincing himself to go along with the whole plan even though he knew it would end in disaster. He was ashamed for putting his faith and trust into a supposed manifestation of his future self in the hopes that he could be actually taught how to perform some cheesy, obscure rock song in the course of a day. Ashamed for admitting the truth to everyone in attendance once him and Rigby's little charade became exposed.

All that time, the avian's conscience screamed at him, trying to warn him of the futility of his actions, but to no avail. He never once listened.

Mordecai wanted to throw up. He felt absolutely awful inside, the entirety of the past day replaying incessantly inside his head on a tormenting, infinite loop. He tried desperately to quell those painful visions, but in doing so only further increased their intensity, and his suffering.

He had failed everyone that night; Rigby, Benson, Pops, Skips, the whole crowd, and especially Margaret. Worst of all and most importantly, he had failed himself.

Mordecai knew full well that he could not play the guitar, so why then did he even try to convince himself and his friends that he could?

'_No more,'_ the blue jay thought, a determined look spreading across his face. _'I'm sick of hiding everything.'_

It was time he took a stand.

Mordecai swiftly turned towards the prep room and disappeared behind the rose-tinted curtain, leaving a nonplussed Rigby in his wake.

It didn't take the avian long at all to find what he was looking for amongst the clutter of electronics and stage equipment. Sitting in the far left corner of the room, was a portable piano, a thin layer of dust coating its keyed surface. It wasn't anything large or overly fancy, but it would suffice quite well for his needs. Mordecai quickly retrieved the instrument and passed once more through the curtains back out into the small auditorium.

Rigby watched, perplexed, as his tall friend returned with the keyboard in his wings.

"Dude, what are you doing with that thing?" the raccoon asked with impatient curiosity.

"What I should have done from the beginning," Mordecai stated determinedly, walking right past him and back up onto the stage.

He swiftly unfolded the attached stand and placed the instrument in the center of the raised platform, wiping off the accumulated dust with a piece of the shirt he had torn up only minutes ago. Mordecai attached the power and amp cords to their respective inputs on the keyboard's rear terminal, and made doubly sure the entire setup was firmly plugged into the wall before returning to center stage.

As he placed a small, padded black bench in front of the keyboard, Mordecai became aware of the sudden silence that had taken hold over the room.

Everyone was now staring up at him, confused and curious expressions plastered across their faces. Of them, Benson was perhaps the most baffled, if not a little annoyed by his employee's strange behavior.

"What is that idiot up to now?" the gumball dispenser asked himself, crossing his arms and grumbling slightly.

Mordecai cautiously approached the microphone at the very front of the stage, tapping the device once or twice to ensure it was functioning correctly. He took a quick glance around the room, and with a nervous sigh, started to address the crowd.

"Look…" he began. "You're probably all wondering what I'm doing up here with this old keyboard, and I really don't intend on keeping anyone here if they have other plans tonight, but I honestly feel I need to do this. So please, just hear me out."

Mordecai had expected most people to leave at these words, but to his surprise everyone sat down again, genuinely interested in what he had to say. Rigby made his way over to an empty chair in the front row and took a seat.

"I'm sorry for lying to all of you back there. I let everybody down tonight; my best friend, my employers, and all of you who came here expecting something amazing, but most of all, I let myself down."

"I know that I can't play guitar, but that doesn't mean I don't how to play an instrument, and to prove it I want to play a song for you guys. It's what I should have done to begin with."

The jay paused for a moment, before continuing.

"This particular song is from a Scandinavian group by the name of Sonata Arctica. When I first heard it a few months back, it touched me in a way that no other song has done before."

"See…there's this girl out there that I really like, but every time I try to approach her, try to ask her out, try to admit my true feelings for her, I'm unable to do so, and it tears me up inside. This song describes me so perfectly. It's everything I want to say to her but cannot."

Another pause, and this time a short sigh.

"Well, I think I've said enough at this point. This is 'Shy.' Enjoy."

Mordecai walked back over and sat down at the keyboard, quickly adjusting the mic so it hovered just in front of his beak. He steadied his nerves, taking in a deep breath and slowly exhaling as he positioned his feathery fingers upon the keys.

A simple little melody issued from the piano, Mordecai humming along lightly in tune to the beautiful introduction. He began to sing, his voice soft and full of emotion.

_I can see how you are beautiful. Can you feel my eyes on you?_

_I'm shy and turn my head away._

He would often watch Margaret with longing eyes as he sipped his coffee, whether she was simply cleaning a table or attending to other customers. She was beautiful, but it wasn't just her looks that he admired so much about her. She was also friendly, smart, enthusiastic, and caring; a hard worker who was always willing to help out her friends no matter what, not to mention an absolute joy to be around.

Whenever she turned in his direction, the jay would quickly avert his gaze, trying hard to cover the blush that formed across his cheeks.

_Working late in diner Citylite, I see that you get home alright._

_Make sure that you can't see me, hoping you will see me._

On the rare occasions when Margaret had to work the closing shift, Mordecai would keep her company, chatting causally about the day's hectic events or even offering to help her clean up, and afterwards he'd walk her home. Margaret rather enjoyed her friend's presence on those long, boring nights. It helped ease some of the stress her job so often produced, and she was grateful that he cared so much for her well-being.

Mordecai savored those moments especially. He rarely got to spend serious time with her like that anymore.

If only he could summon the courage to get closer, to ask her out, to make her see the real Mordecai…

…if only…

_Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye._

_You can't be acting like my Dana?_

Mordecai's voice became a faint whisper.

_(Can you…?)_

Old and painful memories flashed briefly inside the avian's mind, memories of his once high school sweetheart, Dana. She too was a blue jay, a year younger than him. She was smart, pretty, sociable, and she shared Mordecai's passion for music and video games. They did almost everything together, and for the longest time it seemed the two were a perfect match.

It was the end of Mordecai's junior year when he discovered, quite suddenly, that Dana had been cheating on him with the captain of the school's Lacrosse team. The revelation tore him up severely, and he became extremely depressed for the next several days, but Mordecai had Rigby and Margaret there to help him get over his heartbreak. Looking back on it all now, he was thankful.

Besides, Dana could never hold a candle to Margaret.

_I see you in Citylite diner serving all those meals and then_

_I see reflections of me in your eyes._

Margaret gave hope and meaning to Mordecai's life, something that hobbies and a best friend just could not accomplish on their own.

_Oh, please…_

_Talk to me, show some pity._

_You touch me in many, many ways_

_But I'm shy can't you see?_

He loved the robin with all his heart, but fear of rejection constantly bound him to miserable, excruciating silence. What if she turned out to be exactly like Dana?

He cursed his pathetic cowardice.

_Obsessed by you, your looks, well anyway…I would any day die for you._

Mordecai sang that line with the utmost sincerity he could muster. It was true; he would give up his life in a heartbeat if it meant keeping Margaret safe. His voice once again faded to a whisper.

_(I write on paper…and erased away…)_

_Still I sit in diner Citylite, drinking coffee or reading lies._

_Turn my head and I can see you. Could that really be you?_

Every time she broke up with a boyfriend, another Mohawk-wearing, narcissistic, muscle-bound jerk took his place. Mordecai often asked himself how such a cheerful and outgoing woman like Margaret could possibly be attracted to such repulsive examples of humanity. It was as if she had two minds sharing the same body and soul. One was friendly and understanding, the Margaret he knew and loved; the other shallow and uncaring, driven only by relentless, unsatisfiable lust.

Was she doing this just to toy with him? Or was she also hiding her true feelings, fearing that he would not reciprocate? It hurt him just thinking about it.

_Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye_

_You can't be acting like my Dana?_

_I see your beautiful smile and I would like to run away from_

_Reflections of me in your eyes._

Whenever it seemed like Mordecai was finally going to ask her out, the words simply were not there. His heart screamed at him from inside his chest to say something, anything, but he always gave in to that tiny voice in the back of his head that told him, _'What if you're wrong…?'_

All he wanted was one chance, a chance to prove that he was not a coward, no longer willing to live behind a mask of unending shyness.

_Oh please…_

_Talk to me, show some pity._

_You touch me in many, many ways_

_But I'm shy can't you see?_

Could she see…? Did she see…?

_I see…can't have you, can't leave you there 'cause I must sometimes see you._

_But I don't understand how you can keep me in chains._

Oftentimes, Mordecai wondered if pursuing Margaret would even be worth it in the end. Could he be sure she would feel the same way? Would their relationship be perfect like he envisioned it so; or, just as Dana had done years ago, would she only break his heart again?

_And every waken hour, I feel you taking power from me and I can't leave_

_Repeating the scenery over again…_

Day after day, week after week, the constant internal battles between heart and mind left the jaybird physically and emotionally drained, and yet still he tried, still he failed. He felt trapped, doomed to repeat this hellish cycle _ad infinitum_, until the last drop of his resolve finally fell.

An instrumental section began. The audience continued to listen in silent amazement, captivated by the bird's performance, as Mordecai gracefully played on, adding small little improvisations to the melody here and there.

_Sometimes I'm wondering why you look me and you blink your eye._

_You can't be acting like my Dana?_

_I see your beautiful smile and I would like to run away from_

_Reflections of me in your eyes._

Still, he would not give up hope. He knew that Margaret cared for him as a friend, and that he could always count on her to help him with his problems, just as he did for her. Mordecai was good at reading people. She often gave him small signs that hinted, perhaps, at wanting to be more than just good friends, little things like flirtatious gazes, long smiles, and extended hugs. She even once kissed him on the cheek after bringing him his coffee. The feeling was incredible, and he longed for more similar to it.

Perhaps there was a chance for him after all…

_Oh, please…_

_Talk to me, show some pity._

_You touch me in many, many ways_

_But I'm shy can't you see?_

… yet he remained in silence.

_Oh, baby…_

_Talk to me, show some pity._

_You touch me in many, many ways_

_But I'm shy can't you…_

_…I'm shy can't you…_

_…I'm shy can't you see?_

Mordecai rested his hands upon the keys as the song concluded.

The room erupted into thunderous applause. Not a soul remained seated. Benson cheered loudly, still wide-eyed with surprise and shock. He certainly did not anticipate hearing something of such quality from his feathered employee.

"Good show! Jolly good show!" Pops declared, clapping delightfully.

"WHOOOOOOOOO!" bellowed a shirtless Muscleman, now spinning his sweaty t-shirt overhead in circles with his right arm.

"Yea-yuuuh!" an ecstatic Rigby shouted as the raccoon fist-pumped the air several times.

Mordecai simply sat and smiled, taking in his unanimous appraisal.

"Thanks everyone. Thanks for listening," the avian stated sincerely through the roars of approval that now slowly began to wane. "It felt incredible being able to do that just now."

He got up from the keyboard and walked towards the stairs, mind and body coursing through and through with newfound confidence. Mordecai couldn't remember the last time he felt this wonderful, like the afterglow of a jog through a windswept autumn field, like a wild ride on an open-cabbed steam locomotive he had taken once long ago, like a billion balloons loose in the summer breeze over a high spire-tipped building.

He had redeemed himself.

The cheers from the crowd had died down, replaced once more by noisy banter as people gathered belongings and began leaving the auditorium in scattered groups. Rigby sprinted up to the blue jay mere moments after he stepped off the stage.

"Dude…that was AWESOME!" exclaimed the hyperactive mammal.

"Thanks man. It was nothing, really." Mordecai replied.

"Nothing? Are you serious? That was unbelievable! Where in the H did you learn to play like that, man?

A small chuckle escaped the jay's beak. "Didn't I ever tell you, dude? I took piano lessons when I was younger." Rigby shook his head. "No, you never told me that." Now the raccoon was genuinely curious.

"Wait, lessons?"

"Yeah," related Mordecai, "See, my mom used to be a music instructor at the local university, and she would always play songs for me on the big piano that we had in our living room. I always loved hearing her perform, to the point where I wanted to learn how to play, so she taught me herself."

"Really? Wow, I never figured you to be the piano playing type, Mordecai," responded Rigby.

Mordecai stifled another laugh.

"Speak for yourself, dude. You can play keys just as well as I can. Remember "The Power?"

A flash bombarded Rigby's subconscious. His chocolate-rimmed eyes opened wide.

"Oh yeah! You're right! I guess I am pretty good." An idea suddenly hit him, and the raccoon gasped. "DUDE!

"What? What is it?"

"We should totally play at the next open mic, for real this time! Think about it, man, you and me, dueling pianists. Everyone'll love us!"

"Aw, yeah dude! We totally should!" Mordecai agreed enthusiastically.

"Hm, hm! Not to mention," Rigby added with a sly smirk, "Margaret will go crazy when she finds out you have awesome hidden piano skills. She might even want to go out with you."

Mordecai's eyes became the size of saucers. He hadn't considered this new revelation. Besides, Margaret left with Angel just before he decided to play his song.

"I dunno man…" the tall bird remarked, a twinge of uneasiness detectable in his voice, "I mean…I'm nervous enough as it is just trying to talk to her, what if I blow it again?"

Rigby took on a surprisingly serious tone. "Mordecai, you just admitted your feelings for her in front of _everyone in the room_, and through a song nonetheless. If you were brave enough to do that without wussing out then you sure as heck can talk to Margaret."

"You won't blow it dude, trust me," Rigby added.

The more Mordecai thought about it, the more he realized his best friend was right. It took an extraordinary amount of guts to do what he just did, especially after such a disastrous and embarrassing performance. For once, the azure bird had listened to his heart, dismissing any and all doubts that his mind would usually conjure up in these situations.

He had played with such grace and beauty, sung with such emotion and passion, that it honestly surprised him. The fact that dozens of people were watching him, including his boss, fellow employees, and his best friend, did nothing to phase his concentration. At one point, Mordecai had even forgotten that Margaret wasn't there. For all the blue jay cared, she was still sitting amongst the crowd, looking up at him with adoring eyes as he bore her his heart and soul, his innermost feelings and desires, his absolute and undying love, through music; all the things he desperately wished to convey to her for so long, but out of shyness and fear of rejection, could not.

"Mordecai? Hello? Earth to Mordecai?"

The sound of Rigby's voice brought the tall avian out of his deep contemplation. "So…what do you say, man? You in?" the coffee-colored raccoon asked, awaiting an answer.

A smile formed across Mordecai's beak, and he nodded.

"Let's do it."

"AWW YEEAAA-YUUUUUUHH!" shouted Rigby as the two best friends high-fived one another. "Dude, I can't wait! It's gonna be AWESOME!"

"Hm, hm! Yeah it will!" Mordecai agreed.

The duo stood silent for a moment, observing the noisy groups of people as they began trickling out of the room and towards the exit of the coffee shop.

"C'mon dude," Mordecai piped up, "let's go find Benson and the others before it's too late."

With that, they removed themselves from the vicinity of the stage and set off through the slowly-dispersing menagerie towards their employer and co-workers, the blue jay smiling all the way.

Never before had Mordecai felt this confident. He felt as if he could spread his wings and soar towards the heavens. It seemed, to him, anything was possible now.

He reflected back briefly on what Rigby had said to him only moments ago, about how Margaret would love his piano playing, and how he creatively and effectively admitted both his feelings and weaknesses to a room filled mostly with complete and total strangers.

These thoughts gave new hope to Mordecai's heart, and his smile grew even wider as a result.

Perhaps he still had a chance.

Just outside the auditorium entrance, unbeknownst to Mordecai, stood the scarlet robin, watching him as he strode through the thinning crowd. She had forgotten to retrieve her work uniform before heading off to dinner with Angel, and, in the process of doing so, had witnessed her friend's beautiful and touching performance.

A joyful smile spread across Margaret's slender beak, her mind filled with contented thoughts of the blue jay as she turned once more to leave.

Maybe...just maybe…he did have a chance after all.

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><p><strong>Well, what did you all think? Please leave a review, and be constructive if necessary. Let me know what you liked about it and what could benefit from some improvement. As I stated previously at the top, this is my first ever fanfic, so any helpful feedback is appreciated and will ensure that my future works are just as good, if not better.<strong>

**I must give a shout-out to the amazing and incredibly talented LeninWerke, not only for inspiring me to write fanfiction in the first place, but also for graciously taking the time to proofread and edit this story for me. If you haven't had a chance to read his brilliant Mordecai x Margaret fic, "Just a Regular Story," yet, do me a solid and go read it right now. You will NOT be disappointed.**

**Have a pleasant day and best regards to all of you,**

**-Phillip**

**P.S. For those of you who are familiar with Sonata Arctica, I referenced two other songs done by them (well, one is a cover, but I think it's better than the original) that are equally as appropriate. See if you can figure them out. **


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